Making Strange

By. Ann Douglas

What to do when your baby develops stranger anxiety around her grandparents

My ten-month-old baby is starting to make strange with her grandparents. I can tell that this is hurting my father-in-law's feelings. How should I handle the situation?

It can be a little disconcerting to go from being the cuddler-in-chief to persona non-grata in the blink of an eye, which is exactly what can happen if a baby begins to experience stranger anxiety and decides to put her grandparents into the "stranger" category. This situation is perfectly normal and quite common, but that doesn't mean it's not hurtful to the grandparent in question or that it's not slightly mortifying to you.

Obviously, stranger anxiety is more likely to occur if your baby's visits with her grandparents tend to be sporadic in nature than if your baby's grandparents tend to pop in for visits on a daily or near-daily basis. (That old expression, "Don't be a stranger," seems to apply particularly aptly when it comes to stranger anxiety!)

Luckily, the problem will ultimately take care of itself. Your baby will pass through this frustrating experience and realize that her grandfather is one of the coolest people on the planet. In the meantime, when she screams in protest each time he tries to pick her up, you can remind him that this stage is a normal (and generally short-lived) baby rite-of-passage and that it will only be a matter of time before she will be eager to read stories or crawl around on the floor with Grandpa.