THE FIRST OF....

By Ann Douglas

Here's some mom-proven advice on coping with seven of the major first-year "firsts."
The moment your baby is born, you and your baby head off on a journey of discovery together. Here's some mom-proven advice on coping with seven of the major first-year "firsts."

THE FIRST TIME YOU HOLD YOUR BABYYour doctor or midwife places a wet and naked baby in your arms and covers the two of you with a toasty-warm blanket (to help keep you both warm). What other moms want you to know: Just relax and gaze into your baby's eyes. She'll be surprisingly alert and checking you out, too. (Your face is the perfect distance away for her newborn eyes to focus on when you're holding her in your arms.)

THE FIRST FEEDING The best time to schedule the first feeding is as soon as possible after the birth. That way, you can take advantage of that initial period of wide-eyed alertness. (If you or your baby require extra care after the birth and you can't offer your baby the breast as soon as you would have liked, don't worry. Simply offer the breast at the first possible opportunity. What other moms want you to know: It's a good idea to take a breastfeeding class, to do some reading about breastfeeding ahead of time, or to have some hands-on help lined up from an experienced nursing mother. Breastfeeding is perfectly natural, but there can be a bit of a learning curve involved for both you and baby.

THE FIRST DIAPER CHANGE You're going to change a lot of diapers by the time your baby learns how to use the toilet: something in the neighborhood of 8000 diapers. What other moms want you to know: First, gather up all the necessary supplies (diaper, change pad, wet wash clothes, diaper ointment, and a baby towel or receiving blanket) before you start the diaper change so that you won't have to carry around a naked baby while you try to find the one thing you forgot. Secondly, if your newborn cries, it's likely because he doesn't like the sensation of being naked. Minimizing the amount of skin that's exposed at any given time (or covering these exposed areas with a baby towel or receiving blanket as you change him) can help to keep him comfortable while he's au naturel.

THE FIRST BATHThere are few things as nerve-wracking than bathing a baby for the very first time. What other moms want you to know: If you're worried that your baby is going to go slip-sliding away, thanks to all the soap and the water, slip on a thin pair of cotton gloves (use them like built-in washcloths) and washing baby in a plastic baby bathtub or in the kitchen sink. Wash the cleanest parts of baby first, starting with his head. Use a small amount of soap or stick to plain water to avoid over-drying baby's skin. Rinse baby thoroughly and then wrap him in a towel and pat him dry.

THE FIRST SLEEPLESS NIGHTAfter those first few hours of wakefulness right after the birth, your baby is likely to experience a few extra-sleepy days before settling into a normal newborn rhythm of eating, sleeping, and waking around the clock. This means you'll likely find yourself on the same schedule—getting up a number of times in the night. What other moms want you to know: To help your baby start to learn the difference between night and day in the months to come, keep the house dimly lit and the noise level as low as possible when you're up feeding your baby in the night—and learn some other basic facts about infant sleep—including how it's likely to affect your life during the early months of parenthood. And if friends and family members offer to pitch in and help with housework and laundry so that you can remain as rested as possible, accept any and all offers of help.



THE FIRST TIME BABY GETS SICK Whether it's a cough, a sniffle, or something more serious that has you pouring through the baby care books, hitting the Internet, or dashing off to Emergency with your baby department, coping with your baby's first illness can be really worrisome. It's hard not to panic when someone so little seems so sick. What other moms want you to know: There's no need to worry about "looking silly" if your baby's symptoms prove to be something minor: your baby's doctor will be pleased that you decided to trust your gut feelings and check out those worrisome symptoms. After all, that's part of the job description of being someone's parent.

THE FIRST CRYING JAGBaby's wailing away, and you feel like you should be able to pinpoint the cause of his misery and make the tears disappear. You run through a checklist of all the usual causes—baby's hungry, overtired, uncomfortable, wet, ill—but he continues to sing the blues. What other moms want you to know: This is a situation when you may find you need just as much comfort as baby. It's distressing to hear your baby this upset. Call a friend who has had first-hand experience in coping with a crying baby of her own and who can offer both moral support and hands-on help.